Cloning

Posted on May 7, 2010 by Maggie Hadley Crook: "is thinking of cloning herself, but doesn't think she could live with the bitch!"


Well, Maggie, I know just how you feel. There are definitely a lot of days where I'd like another Me around, just so I could get more things done. But I fear this is how the day would go...

Me: Okay, Clone, you go to the grocery store, and I'll stay here and do the dishes.
Clone: Why do I have to go to the store?
Me: Because your purpose here is to do what I say, to help ME.
Clone: Well, I'm not sure I like you making all the rules.
Me: You are ME, so you are really making the rules.
Clone: Ummm...
Me: Drive safe.
Clone: I'm a great driver...you know that!
Me: Sorry, I forgot you were me.
Clone: Your mind is slipping.
Me: No, YOUR mind is slipping.
Clone: Whatev.
Me: Are you going to the store now, or what?
Clone: What do we need?
Me: There's a list.
Clone: Can I get ice cream?
Me: We don't even like ice cream.
Clone: Maybe I like it now.
Me: YOU ARE ME! WE DON'T LIKE ICE CREAM!
Clone: Geesh, ya don't have to yell.
Me: Jesus! Give me the keys, I'm going to the store.
Clone: Want me to do the dishes?
Me: Figure it out.

While I'm at the store, Clone is watching "Real Housewives" marathon reruns, chain-smoking, and making lists of chores for me to do when I get back.