A Spider in the Toilet

Posted on April 24, 2010 by Allison Kelly: "I put a spider in the toilet an hour ago. Now I'm afraid to go to the bathroom. I don't want it to bite my butt."

Seriously, Allison, I can't count how many times I've probably done and said this same thing! Too funny! But, on a deeper level, it started to make me think about life a little. I know, I know, what?!?!?!

But hear me out...as ridiculous as the idea of a washed away spider crawling its way back up the toilet and biting your butt might sound, such are the ludicrous thoughts we sometimes harbor about letting go of something that might come back and haunt us.

If I take this job, instead of the one that makes more money, will I regret it? If I let a lover go, will I want him back after it's too late? If I move to a new city, will I be so lonely that I won't succeed? If I say goodbye to a friendship, will I miss out?

The entire act of seeing a spider, freaking out a little, finding a tissue, racing to the toilet, and flushing it down while watching to make sure it REALLY goes down, takes approximately one minute, maybe less. The thoughts that cross our minds after the deed is done can consume an entire evening. Will it come back and bite my butt? Should I have put it outside? How important are spiders to the planet, or my house? Maybe I should have just squished it until it's guts popped out, then I KNOW it couldn't have come back to bite my butt. Shit, it's just a damn spider, what am I worried about? There will always be another spider....and maybe I'll let it outside next time....maybe. But I don't LIKE spiders. I don't need spiders. I don't care about spiders, until they are in my house where they don't belong. So, there. Away with you spider. But...

Sometimes in life we grab a tissue, scoop up an issue, and flush it away without even thinking about the repercussions. After the fact, an obsession often ensues. Until sometimes, we even get out the plunger to try and suck the dead thing all the way from the sewer and back into our lives, if only to squish it's guts out, kill it again. Or at least to make a more thought-out decision this time.