Posted on April 29, 2010 by Tammy Daniel Coles: "thinks that I need to get my mind in a positive flow tonight."
I'm right there with ya, Tammy! It's funny, because even though I know exactly how to keep myself in a positive mindframe, I don't always do it. I am a firm believer in "there has to be a down to have an up, rain to make things shine, and heartache to be able to fully appreciate true love". And I think the only people who truly stay happy all the time are either totally mental, or fully medicated, or both.
A good cry, a day or two of sorrow, a morning of mourning....these are all things we need every so often, just to remind us how much better we feel when we are enjoying life. But, there is often a fine line, one I have personally walked several times, between a day or two of sorrow and a year or so of depression.
I guess the key to everything in life comes down to balance. This is no new, earth-shattering revelation I'm making here. It's just a simple truth, but one we tend to forget from time to time. One that seems so easy some days, and impossible other days. Keeping balance, of everything, can be tricky....time for friends, time for family, time for self, money in, money out, laundry clean, dishes dirty, love gained, love lost, goals made, goals met, happiness kept, sadness kept at bay.
I suppose all we can really do is, well, our best. Every day. Whether that means being loaded with happiness so much so that we sleep with a smile, or just barely keeping ourselves from the pit of despair. Our best IS good enough.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
An Institution
Posted on April 28, 2010 by Adrienne Stuart: "'Marriage is a fine institution; but I'm not ready for an institution yet.' -- Mae West"
I've thought a lot about marraige throughout the entirety of my life. Most of us, as little girls, dream of the time we get married, and how wonderful it will be. With almost every man I have encountered intimately, or relationship-wise, one of the first thoughts that crosses my mind is, "could I see myself marrying him?". Now, I don't know if every woman does this, or if it's just me and my crazy brain, or if I've just wanted to be married for so long that it's a smart thought, so I think it.
I was told about a year and a half ago by a man I was dating that he wanted to be with me forEVER. That he loved me and wanted me to be the mother of his children, and once again, love me FOREVER. Wow. This was huge for me, a first, really. I had felt this way about other people, but this is the first time someone had said it to me. Nonetheless, it was all a lie, and we broke up a few months later. Cest la vie, I guess.
Anyway, I think about this Mae West quote and what comes to mind is how crazy I feel, and likely act, when I think marraige might be an imminent possibility. If I imagine it, believe it to be a real possibility, I tend to obsess over it a bit. If we get married, will I care how his breath smells in the morning? Will he be sweet and bring me coffee? Is he faithful, strong, handy, considerate? Will we have children, and agree on how to raise them? Will that bump on his ear still be cute, or will it turn into a grand annoyance? Can I make love to this person, and only this person...FOREVER?? Will our sex be adventurous, but not too kinky? Will I find him one night on the computer, surfing internet porn? How long is it before I can pee with the door open? Or what if I fart in front of him? Will he still love me tomorrow?
So, I figure the mere idea of marraige sort of puts me in a state of madness. One might even suggest counseling or, perhaps, a padded room for me. Well, then, maybe I AM ready for marraige, after all.
I've thought a lot about marraige throughout the entirety of my life. Most of us, as little girls, dream of the time we get married, and how wonderful it will be. With almost every man I have encountered intimately, or relationship-wise, one of the first thoughts that crosses my mind is, "could I see myself marrying him?". Now, I don't know if every woman does this, or if it's just me and my crazy brain, or if I've just wanted to be married for so long that it's a smart thought, so I think it.
I was told about a year and a half ago by a man I was dating that he wanted to be with me forEVER. That he loved me and wanted me to be the mother of his children, and once again, love me FOREVER. Wow. This was huge for me, a first, really. I had felt this way about other people, but this is the first time someone had said it to me. Nonetheless, it was all a lie, and we broke up a few months later. Cest la vie, I guess.
Anyway, I think about this Mae West quote and what comes to mind is how crazy I feel, and likely act, when I think marraige might be an imminent possibility. If I imagine it, believe it to be a real possibility, I tend to obsess over it a bit. If we get married, will I care how his breath smells in the morning? Will he be sweet and bring me coffee? Is he faithful, strong, handy, considerate? Will we have children, and agree on how to raise them? Will that bump on his ear still be cute, or will it turn into a grand annoyance? Can I make love to this person, and only this person...FOREVER?? Will our sex be adventurous, but not too kinky? Will I find him one night on the computer, surfing internet porn? How long is it before I can pee with the door open? Or what if I fart in front of him? Will he still love me tomorrow?
So, I figure the mere idea of marraige sort of puts me in a state of madness. One might even suggest counseling or, perhaps, a padded room for me. Well, then, maybe I AM ready for marraige, after all.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Selfish
Posted April 27, 2010 by Michael Miller: "why oh why are some people so selfish?"
Good question, Mike. I really have no answer for you, just a lot more questions. Why do people take your heart and smash it like a bug because they know they can? How can someone who claims they care about you, just be mean, plain mean? Why is it that the more we give of ourselves, the more some people take, take, take? Who do they think they are? My new word for depression is selfishness. Blaming your rude, thoughtless actions on the fact that you are depressed is bullshit nonsense fuckery. Oh yeah, and why is it that when we are so forgiving and loving that it seems others act even more monstrous? Why do they try and make US apologize for their rotten behavior, like it's OUR fault?
Why can't we just be loved? Why can't we just be enjoyed, encouraged, smiled at? Why can't we just be cared for, cared about, and wanted? Why can't it just be easy for once?
Good question, Mike. I really have no answer for you, just a lot more questions. Why do people take your heart and smash it like a bug because they know they can? How can someone who claims they care about you, just be mean, plain mean? Why is it that the more we give of ourselves, the more some people take, take, take? Who do they think they are? My new word for depression is selfishness. Blaming your rude, thoughtless actions on the fact that you are depressed is bullshit nonsense fuckery. Oh yeah, and why is it that when we are so forgiving and loving that it seems others act even more monstrous? Why do they try and make US apologize for their rotten behavior, like it's OUR fault?
Why can't we just be loved? Why can't we just be enjoyed, encouraged, smiled at? Why can't we just be cared for, cared about, and wanted? Why can't it just be easy for once?
Think, Think, Thinking
Posted on April 26, 2010 by Karen King Hedges: "has lots of things on her mind and plans to bring them all to fruition!! Motivated and focused!!!"
I am blessed and cursed with a mind that constantly thinks, thinks, thinks. About my life, my family's lives, my friend's lives, things I want to do, things I want to be, things that can make me money, when I'm going to find love, when I'm going to feel better, what I want to do for business, when my bills are due, how many dishes I can fit in the dishwasher for maximum efficiency, how to give back to my community, how to feed my soul, who to trust, who to love, HOW to love, how to be a good friend, when to say goodbye, who I miss that has died, how to stay positive, how to create a fulfilling routine, how to stay in touch with people I love, how to remember people I've lost, which stores have the things I like on sale, which coupons I can use before they expire, what to do when someone is just blatantly mean to me, how to heal my heart after it breaks, when I'm going to have a family, when I'm going to get a book deal, what I'm going to cook for dinner, how much my apartment costs, what I need to get at the store, what work is going to be like tonight, why I still have stuffed animals, that I need to get some cold medicine soon, that I want to go home and see my Mommy, that I could sure use a hug right about now, how lonely Las Vegas is most of the time, how many times I have been hurt by people I love, that I need to buy new socks and underwear and a headlight and a tail light for my car, that this month is going to be the biggest financial struggle I've had for a long time, that I'm hoping my car will make it through another year, that I wish I could buy a real house, that I wish my tax refund was in the mail today, the fact that I now have like ten blogs set up and need to write more often, hoping that my neck stops hurting and the blisters on my feet go away soon, wishing that the snap of my fingers would clean my house like it did on Mary Poppins, missing my Mom A LOT, and that all I want to do is stop thinking. About what's on t.v., where is Jimmy Hoffa buried, who is Roger Rabbit, which one of these things doesn't belong, what is the letter of the day, how do you like me now, who's on first, what's the meaning of life, is it evolution or creation, why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway, why aren't we supposed to sweat the small stuff if it's the little things that count, who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong?
I am blessed and cursed with a mind that constantly thinks, thinks, thinks. About my life, my family's lives, my friend's lives, things I want to do, things I want to be, things that can make me money, when I'm going to find love, when I'm going to feel better, what I want to do for business, when my bills are due, how many dishes I can fit in the dishwasher for maximum efficiency, how to give back to my community, how to feed my soul, who to trust, who to love, HOW to love, how to be a good friend, when to say goodbye, who I miss that has died, how to stay positive, how to create a fulfilling routine, how to stay in touch with people I love, how to remember people I've lost, which stores have the things I like on sale, which coupons I can use before they expire, what to do when someone is just blatantly mean to me, how to heal my heart after it breaks, when I'm going to have a family, when I'm going to get a book deal, what I'm going to cook for dinner, how much my apartment costs, what I need to get at the store, what work is going to be like tonight, why I still have stuffed animals, that I need to get some cold medicine soon, that I want to go home and see my Mommy, that I could sure use a hug right about now, how lonely Las Vegas is most of the time, how many times I have been hurt by people I love, that I need to buy new socks and underwear and a headlight and a tail light for my car, that this month is going to be the biggest financial struggle I've had for a long time, that I'm hoping my car will make it through another year, that I wish I could buy a real house, that I wish my tax refund was in the mail today, the fact that I now have like ten blogs set up and need to write more often, hoping that my neck stops hurting and the blisters on my feet go away soon, wishing that the snap of my fingers would clean my house like it did on Mary Poppins, missing my Mom A LOT, and that all I want to do is stop thinking. About what's on t.v., where is Jimmy Hoffa buried, who is Roger Rabbit, which one of these things doesn't belong, what is the letter of the day, how do you like me now, who's on first, what's the meaning of life, is it evolution or creation, why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway, why aren't we supposed to sweat the small stuff if it's the little things that count, who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong?
Monday, April 26, 2010
Do Not Impose
Posted on April 25, 2010 by Mark Andrix: "Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire..............."
This post by Mark makes me think of a very specific time in my life. When I was a child, up to about the age of 14, a lot of my family imposed upon me their ideas of what I should do with my life. In the youngest years of my life, I thought this was great. Everyone looked upon me as "the helper", the "creative one", the "smart one". They wanted me to become an artist, a baker, a writer, a crafter of fun, useful things. They wanted me to sell things because I was good at it. They wanted me to build things, because I could see a thing built before it actually was, and then make it so, quickly and correctly.
The pressure of this kind of expectation from an entire family broke my spirit at the age of 15, and I resented them, I resented my own talents, I rebelled against it all. I abandoned all art, craft, and creativity. I acted dumb, spoke like a thug, made stupid decisions on purpose. I wanted to prove them all wrong, so that I could have a little piece of mind. So that I could just be ME. So that everyone would finally see that I wasn't the answer to our age-old family question, "Who's going to get rich and take care of us all when we're old?"
In my life now, at the age of 32, all I really want is to write things, bake things, create and build things. Use and exploit my own talents for money, self-fulfillment, happiness, contentment. This is my dream. Not theirs. but somehow, they wanted it for me before I knew I wanted it. Somehow their pressure was founded, not imposed. They don't want to write, or bake, or create and build things. They want ME to, because it's what I want, and it makes me happy.
Like most families, I suppose, mine is a great big mixture of emotions, memories, thoughts, fights, parties, and hopes. The love and support we show each other has really never waivered - even through some very roller-coastery times. And sometimes, when I really think about it, I realize how lucky I am to have their expectations hanging over my head. Though at times, they hang like a huge dark cloud, other times they hang like a mobile of rainbows, jingling a soft harmony that lulls me to sleep with a smile on my face.
This post by Mark makes me think of a very specific time in my life. When I was a child, up to about the age of 14, a lot of my family imposed upon me their ideas of what I should do with my life. In the youngest years of my life, I thought this was great. Everyone looked upon me as "the helper", the "creative one", the "smart one". They wanted me to become an artist, a baker, a writer, a crafter of fun, useful things. They wanted me to sell things because I was good at it. They wanted me to build things, because I could see a thing built before it actually was, and then make it so, quickly and correctly.
The pressure of this kind of expectation from an entire family broke my spirit at the age of 15, and I resented them, I resented my own talents, I rebelled against it all. I abandoned all art, craft, and creativity. I acted dumb, spoke like a thug, made stupid decisions on purpose. I wanted to prove them all wrong, so that I could have a little piece of mind. So that I could just be ME. So that everyone would finally see that I wasn't the answer to our age-old family question, "Who's going to get rich and take care of us all when we're old?"
In my life now, at the age of 32, all I really want is to write things, bake things, create and build things. Use and exploit my own talents for money, self-fulfillment, happiness, contentment. This is my dream. Not theirs. but somehow, they wanted it for me before I knew I wanted it. Somehow their pressure was founded, not imposed. They don't want to write, or bake, or create and build things. They want ME to, because it's what I want, and it makes me happy.
Like most families, I suppose, mine is a great big mixture of emotions, memories, thoughts, fights, parties, and hopes. The love and support we show each other has really never waivered - even through some very roller-coastery times. And sometimes, when I really think about it, I realize how lucky I am to have their expectations hanging over my head. Though at times, they hang like a huge dark cloud, other times they hang like a mobile of rainbows, jingling a soft harmony that lulls me to sleep with a smile on my face.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
A Spider in the Toilet
Posted on April 24, 2010 by Allison Kelly: "I put a spider in the toilet an hour ago. Now I'm afraid to go to the bathroom. I don't want it to bite my butt."
Seriously, Allison, I can't count how many times I've probably done and said this same thing! Too funny! But, on a deeper level, it started to make me think about life a little. I know, I know, what?!?!?!
But hear me out...as ridiculous as the idea of a washed away spider crawling its way back up the toilet and biting your butt might sound, such are the ludicrous thoughts we sometimes harbor about letting go of something that might come back and haunt us.
If I take this job, instead of the one that makes more money, will I regret it? If I let a lover go, will I want him back after it's too late? If I move to a new city, will I be so lonely that I won't succeed? If I say goodbye to a friendship, will I miss out?
The entire act of seeing a spider, freaking out a little, finding a tissue, racing to the toilet, and flushing it down while watching to make sure it REALLY goes down, takes approximately one minute, maybe less. The thoughts that cross our minds after the deed is done can consume an entire evening. Will it come back and bite my butt? Should I have put it outside? How important are spiders to the planet, or my house? Maybe I should have just squished it until it's guts popped out, then I KNOW it couldn't have come back to bite my butt. Shit, it's just a damn spider, what am I worried about? There will always be another spider....and maybe I'll let it outside next time....maybe. But I don't LIKE spiders. I don't need spiders. I don't care about spiders, until they are in my house where they don't belong. So, there. Away with you spider. But...
Sometimes in life we grab a tissue, scoop up an issue, and flush it away without even thinking about the repercussions. After the fact, an obsession often ensues. Until sometimes, we even get out the plunger to try and suck the dead thing all the way from the sewer and back into our lives, if only to squish it's guts out, kill it again. Or at least to make a more thought-out decision this time.
Seriously, Allison, I can't count how many times I've probably done and said this same thing! Too funny! But, on a deeper level, it started to make me think about life a little. I know, I know, what?!?!?!
But hear me out...as ridiculous as the idea of a washed away spider crawling its way back up the toilet and biting your butt might sound, such are the ludicrous thoughts we sometimes harbor about letting go of something that might come back and haunt us.
If I take this job, instead of the one that makes more money, will I regret it? If I let a lover go, will I want him back after it's too late? If I move to a new city, will I be so lonely that I won't succeed? If I say goodbye to a friendship, will I miss out?
The entire act of seeing a spider, freaking out a little, finding a tissue, racing to the toilet, and flushing it down while watching to make sure it REALLY goes down, takes approximately one minute, maybe less. The thoughts that cross our minds after the deed is done can consume an entire evening. Will it come back and bite my butt? Should I have put it outside? How important are spiders to the planet, or my house? Maybe I should have just squished it until it's guts popped out, then I KNOW it couldn't have come back to bite my butt. Shit, it's just a damn spider, what am I worried about? There will always be another spider....and maybe I'll let it outside next time....maybe. But I don't LIKE spiders. I don't need spiders. I don't care about spiders, until they are in my house where they don't belong. So, there. Away with you spider. But...
Sometimes in life we grab a tissue, scoop up an issue, and flush it away without even thinking about the repercussions. After the fact, an obsession often ensues. Until sometimes, we even get out the plunger to try and suck the dead thing all the way from the sewer and back into our lives, if only to squish it's guts out, kill it again. Or at least to make a more thought-out decision this time.
Friday, April 23, 2010
The Right People
Posted on April 23, 2010 by Tony Michael: "The right people come together at the right time, for the right reasons, to do the right things, right when they are supposed to."
Let me just say first, Tony Michael is a quote machine. So, I'm sure this won't be the only post I use his words in. And this one, I happen to agree with.
At some points in my life, it seems I missed the proverbial boat. Or, at least that's how I felt at the time. I would arrive or leave somewhere, missing some sort of contact or excitement. I always felt like things were just a little bit off, and that I was being left out of the equation somehow. But now I realize that, where I am now, who I am now, creates the circumstances of my life. When I want something, I think about it, ask for it, and it happens.
There are a lot of people that have come in and gone out of my life over the years for one reason or another. And for the most part, their presence in my life has been for the better. People have helped me, I have helped people, and we have, at times, helped the world...together.
Though I do believe that we don't always know the actual reasons, there ALWAYS is a reason people connect. ALWAYS. There is a design to it all, albeit sometimes it's an ever-changing design, but it's there. And we are fated to meet, love, live, create happiness and success and enlightenment for each other.
Let me just say first, Tony Michael is a quote machine. So, I'm sure this won't be the only post I use his words in. And this one, I happen to agree with.
At some points in my life, it seems I missed the proverbial boat. Or, at least that's how I felt at the time. I would arrive or leave somewhere, missing some sort of contact or excitement. I always felt like things were just a little bit off, and that I was being left out of the equation somehow. But now I realize that, where I am now, who I am now, creates the circumstances of my life. When I want something, I think about it, ask for it, and it happens.
There are a lot of people that have come in and gone out of my life over the years for one reason or another. And for the most part, their presence in my life has been for the better. People have helped me, I have helped people, and we have, at times, helped the world...together.
Though I do believe that we don't always know the actual reasons, there ALWAYS is a reason people connect. ALWAYS. There is a design to it all, albeit sometimes it's an ever-changing design, but it's there. And we are fated to meet, love, live, create happiness and success and enlightenment for each other.
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